New Year Detox Soup Special

The fun is nearly over and all the excess from Christmas is about to manifest itself in the form of a couple of extra inches on all of our fat asses. 

If like 99% of the country you've eaten and drunk yourself stupid for the last week, you're probably starting a detox today. 

I’ve come up with this fucking gorgeous broth that will make the detox a complete pleasure. Grab the simple ingredients tonight and make a huge pot for the next couple of days. Perfect with some nice juice.

Instructions

Step 1

The ingredients are simple and you'll get them all in any local shop. Don't be shy and buy a load of them because soup always gets better after the first day.

Step 2

Peel the onions. 3 small ones or two big ones.

Step 3

Chop them up into a medium size.

Step 4

Lash the garlic out and peel the cloves.

Step 5

Chop them up small as possible.

Step 6

Grab the rosemary and pull all the little leaves off and discard the woody stalk.

Step 7

You'll have a good handful of it.

Step 8

Chop it up roughly.

Step 9

Big pot on a medium heat. The biggest pot you have.

Step 10

When the oil is at a medium temperature lash in the garlic, rosemary and onions.

Step 11

This is where a lot of the flavour is going to be coming from. Sweat them for a good 5/10 minutes but no colour at all.

Step 12

Chop the big thick green parts off and thorw them in the bin. Good for nothing, those bits.

Step 13

Cut the leaks in half. Now I don't much of the produce we buy these days even needs washed but you absolutely have to wash leeks. There was a slug in mine and they're often filled with sand. Washing is essential so don't be lazy, just do it.

Step 14

Slice the leeks up nice and evenly.

Step 15

Lash them into the pan. They might fill it nearly to the top but they'll get smaller as they cook.

Step 16

Low to medium heat and keep them stirring for about 5/10 minutes.

Step 17

Prep the cabbage by pulling the outer shitty leaves off.

Step 18

You'll probably only need half the cabbage as you get a shit load off them.

Step 19

Roll the leaves up and chop them into thin little slices.

Step 20

Again you'll have a huge pile of them.

Step 21

The leeks should look like this after a few minutes. Reduced to about one fifth of the original size.

Step 22

Toss in the cabbage and repeat the same process as the leeks until it all starts reducing in size.

Step 23

Slow to medium heat and you can get prepping the next parts as they cook.

Step 24

Grab the potatoes out and peel the bastards.

Step 25

Chop them up roughly and fuck them in with the veg.

Step 26

Stir all that up.

Step 27

Grab normal tap water and cover the pot right up to the top.

Step 28

It should be looking something like this now. Turn it down to a low to medium heat for about 30 minutes. Lash in two chicken stock cubes. Crumble them up a bit as they go in.

Step 29

Lash in two chicken stock cubes. Crumble them up a bit as they go in.

Step 30

When the soup has fully cooked grab the asparagus and cut them in half.

Step 31

Toss them into the soup. They shouldn't take more than 3 minutes to cook so make sure everything else is ready.

Step 32

Pick the basil leaves and roll them up like a cigar.

Step 33

Slice them as thin as you possibly can.

Step 34

Pour the soup into a bowl, serve with some bread and then at the very last moment sprinkle the basil over the top.

So that's it. You may be fat, hungover, dreading work and totally broke, but this little soup costs feck all to make and is an easy way to get yourself back on track. 

Cabbage is a bit of a superfood so you’ll start seeing this working really quickly. Give it a lash. 

And happy New Year!

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