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12th December 2024
08:35am GMT
Yes, February is a month of love , but for those of you not feeling it, it may be time to pull the plug
Like prying yourself out of a packed Luas carriage at rush hour or getting out of a pub before it’s your round, ending a relationship is much more complicated than it looks. I did once literally run away from a man who just kept trying to talk me round. Don’t do that—I’m still haunted by it to this day.
Don’t do it by text or by Post-it. Keep it quick. Don’t drag it out—prolonged, circular conversations only intensify the pain. Be honest, but kind. Offer truth without unnecessary cruelty. You don’t need to list every flaw. “We’re not right for each other” often suffices. Don’t hedge or backtrack. Be respectful, but stand by your reasons. Have an exit strategy. Whether it’s grabbing a taxi or stepping out for a walk, know how you’ll leave if the conversation becomes too heated or painful.
There’s nothing like ruining the magic of a place by getting dumped in it. Where should one actually deliver the dreaded news, especially in a city as small and intimate as Dublin? A city where no one has a home to themselves and the few that do are sardined with roommates. Parks usually work, and we do have a lot of them. But in Irish weather… ehhhhh, that can be complicated.
If that’s the case, picking the right place in town matters. You need somewhere neutral yet not too romantic, somewhat private but not eerily so, and preferably without the chance of bumping into your boss, roommate, or the chap you fancy mid-breakup. As a city that’s no stranger to drama, Dublin offers plenty of backdrops. Here are the top five best and worst spots to end a relationship on this peak breakup day, so you can do it (as kindly as possible) without scarring your favorite local haunts forever.
Why It Works: You’re in your car, it feels private, and you’re still in the city so even if they storm off, they can find their way home. It’s mildly public, suitably bleak, and entirely lacking in warmth—ideal for a conversation that’s all business. Car parks, full of hurried strangers and exhaust fumes, are neutral territory. At least you won’t run into your aunt carrying her messages.
Watch Out For: Confining yizzerselves to a small space might amp up the intensity. PSA don’t do this while driving. Safety is sexy, even where heartbreak is concerned.
Try: The Lark Inn. It’s old-school, no-nonsense, and the bartenders have seen it all. If tears fall, they won’t flinch. They might even send you a pint if you end up alone. Or consider The Auld Triangle—if a drink gets thrown in your face, no one will bat an eyelid.
Beware: Alcohol can loosen tongues—sometimes too much. Keep it calm and snappy.
Try: The café in People's Park Dún Laoghaire. At this time of year, its once-blooming surroundings are quieter and more introspective. It’s less crowded than a city-centre hotspot, meaning fewer people you know and a more muted vibe.
Beware: It’s still public. Expect a few strangers within earshot, but at least it won’t be full of friends or colleagues.
Try: The Ashling Hotel. Neutral territory—businessy, no shared memories from first dates or anniversaries lurking in the decor.
Beware: Don’t pick an overly romantic hotel bar—no candlelit corners or live harpists.
This is an expensive option, but at least you won’t have nosy servers gossiping about you both. Then you can sing out your pain. You can’t go wrong with “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift tbh.
Beware: It’s a splurge, but the privacy and neutral setting might be worth it.
Breaking up is no walk in the park (unless you actually choose to do it there)
Why It’s Awful: It’s neither classy nor comforting. You’re trapped with overpriced drinks and travel-stressed strangers lugging suitcases. If your ex storms off, you’re stuck holding a hefty tab and a whirlwind of emotions in the middle of Dublin Airport. They’ve flown in for a romantic V-day—imagining something straight out of a romcom — and then, boom, you burst their bubble with a hard dose of “it’s not you, it’s me.” Oof.
Bottom Line: Travel is stressful enough—don’t add heartbreak to the baggage carousel.
Why It’s Awful: If your relationship is as dead as Nearly-Headless Nick, why not go all-in and break up on a ghost bus tour? Except, you’re literally trapped on a moving attraction, surrounded by ghouls, goblins, and your own dying romance. You’ll end up thinking, “I should’ve just ghosted them,” instead of going full paranormal.
Bottom Line: There’s no elegant exit strategy. It’s a horror show—don’t make it yours.
Why It’s Awful: Think candlelight, couples canoodling, and soft violin music. A fancy spot is designed for lovebirds, not heartbreak. Trying to end things where everyone else is celebrating anniversaries and proposals only adds confusion and pain.
Bottom Line: Forever tainted. You’ll never return without picturing their tearful face—and neither will they.
Why It’s Awful: Is that sweat or tears? In this humid, uncomfortable setting, emotions get stifled and confused. Half-dressed and overheated, you’re amplifying discomfort instead of keeping things clear and compassionate.
Bottom Line: Just because you can do it there doesn’t mean you should. Some environments aren’t made for heartbreak.
Why It’s Awful: If sneaky nookie is hard enough to hide from the ‘rents, imagine the emotional ruin of a bad breakup unfolding under their roof. If their parents never move, this moment will haunt them every time they go home. It’s the ultimate legacy of heartbreak—stamped right into their childhood stomping ground.
Bottom Line: This is emotional carnage. Don’t ruin family memories along with the relationship.
Pick one of these spots—preferably from the first list rather than the second—and then start brainstorming how to tell someone you don’t want to be texting them anymore. While society as a whole tends to rally around the person who’s been dumped, it’s easy to forget the courage and self-inflicted pain it takes to be the dumper. It won’t be painless, but at least you won’t ruin your favorite pub or forever link your go-to brunch spot with heartbreak.
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