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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT

So long, shrapnel.
The Central Bank of Ireland has finally made the decree we've all been waiting for, and announced its intention to withdraw 1c and 2c coins from circulation.
It's a move that will make our wallets lighter, our queues faster and our lives that little bit less pointless. But how will it work?
Here are a couple of things you need to know...
So if you buy three items worth 99c, it's not that each one will be rounded up to a euro – but the total of €2.97 will be rounded down to €2.95, saving you the rather princely sum of 2c.
Ker-ching!
If you think you're going to craftily save a few cent by making sure your total ends in a seven or a two, and will thus be rounded down, then you'll have to pay by cash.
And, given the tallies introduced on ATM transactions – and the removal of the tallies on card transactions – in last week's Budget, that is probably not going to work out for you.
FOILED!
Lovers of old Power City adverts, do not despair – this will not mean an end to things being priced €1.99, €9.99, €99.99, etc..
Because the rounding takes place at the end of the transaction, retailers can continue to fool you with the ingenious psychological gimmick that we definitely don't see through whatsoever.
1c and 2c coins will remain legal tender – so if you have a massive jar of them in your gaff, you can keep doing what you've been doing for the last six years and insist to yourself that you're going to change them 'this weekend'.
Both retailers and consumers are entitled to opt out and give, or receive, exact change.
Of course, if you do that, you're the worst person ever. So do bear that in mind.
lol jkjk
If you're gonna make pointlessly tiny coins, at least make them look batshit crazy and cool. Like these ones.

In Wexford, no less. Retailers and consumers alike were highly receptive to the scheme, and so it was decided that it could stick around, make a cuppa and even put its feet up on the table.
Statistically speaking, anyhow.
Some 85% of consumers quizzed as part of the Wexford experiment – or the Wexperiment, as absolutely nobody called it – were in favour of the move.
Well. For the next few moments at least.