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Published 00:10 20 Dec 2016 GMT
Once a year, for some unknown reason, we all go to the effort of cooking a humungous bird that no-one particularly likes. I reckon it's time to put an end to the madness - let's all stop falling victim to turkey dinner peer pressure.
So, here are six solid excuses to ditch the turkey next week - don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
Why do we pay up to €60 for something we'll be trying to get rid of for days?
A mouthful of turkey is as good as a handful of sandpaper.
Like opening a beautifully wrapped present to discover coal inside.
Between 3 - 6 hours?
Everybody loves chicken. Chicken for President!
So there you have it, turkey is rank and shouldn't be anywhere near our dinner tables next week.
End of.
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