Sure, everyone complains about their job, but as soon as they're without it they're cast adrift. It can be an emotionally turbulent time when you're trying to get your foot in the door with a new workplace – anybody who's been job hunting in recent times can testify to that.
Here are 26 things that you experience when you go job hunting these days...
1. You start from a place of bright-eyed optimism, confident in your education and your abilities
You poor, misguided fool.
2. But reality soon sets in and you realise this is not as easy as you had anticipated
3. You apply for jobs that you think you're perfect for and half the time you don't even get an automatic response
4. You discover that the application process can be a form of living purgatory
5. You spend most of your time waiting for your inbox to fill up and your phone to ring
6. You apply for jobs from a café just for the excuse to put on some trousers
7. You become one of those people who complains about "this fuckin' country"
Recovery my arse.
8. You lose track of what day it is and weekends become meaningless
10. You now see your college course for what it really was: a horrific waste of time
11. You start to seriously question your CV game
"But where am I going wrong?"
12. You hit up old friends who might just happen to have useful contacts
And it's entirely transparent.
13. Finally something is handed to you on a plate
But it's a fucking unpaid internship.
14. You scroll past jobs you see advertised because you're just too good for them
The very idea is laughable really.
15. Then you scroll back a few minutes later when you realise how truly desperate you've become
16. When you finally start getting callbacks, you half-ass your way through interviews for jobs you don't really want
You're mainly just showing up for the practice. And the confidence boost.
17. When you meet the other applicants going for the job, you learn that competitiveness in the workplace is healthy
18. Interviewers will occasionally ask you absolutely fucking ridiculous questions because they can
"So tell us: how many bowling balls would it take to fill this room?"
19. You've practiced your interview spiel so many times that you've started to believe your own shite
"Maybe my biggest weakness really is working too hard."
20. You think you finally have a job in the bag... then you find out someone else got it
21. Understandably, these setbacks are a bit of a blow to your motivation
22. But, eventually, you come to your senses and get back on the horse
23. After all your hard work, you'll finally get a shot at something you really want and you promise yourself you're gonna be so fuckin' prepared for that interview
They're gonna love you.
24. But then it's the night before the interview and you haven't done SHIT
25. But eventually, after many trials and tribulations, you come good and find the decent job you deserve
26. Alternatively, you just say fuck this noise and move to Australia or Canada or some shit
