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15th May 2017
04:08pm BST
Your mid 20s are a turbulent time.
You've noticed some major disparities between your youthful expectations of life and its present realities – you assumed you'd have it all sorted out by now.
Maybe you've already passed through this phase in your life. Maybe it's yet to come. But if you're like me, you'll recognise these aspects in your 20-something-year-old life.
It's all well and good for Taylor Swift to be all happy and shit about being 22, the world's your oyster in your early 20s. Then you hit 23 and it all goes to shit, coz now you're straddling the border between early and mid 20s, and there's only one way you can possibly tip.
For your 21st birthday, you had a massive party. For your 22nd, you got a 'woohoo!' For your 23rd, you were lucky if anyone gave you a nod of acknowledgement.
Blink 182 got it so right.
What were you thinking picking that course? Oh yeah, you weren't thinking, because at the time you filled out your CAO form you were a child, riding a hormonal rollercoaster, who also had their ever looming Leaving Cert to stress about.
Who could have known that'd be a bad time to make a life-altering decision?
And you're just there like...
Although you're quite happy to be out of the loop there.
Gone are the days when you could recklessly endanger your body with toxins and junk food without thought of consequence, and still be a functioning human being.
But having said that, you're still pretty young, so you don't have to overdo it.
They've gotten worse, and you've come to the conclusion that they're just not worth it anymore.
The thoughts of heading to a club, the sheer effort of it all.
And you've given serious thought to investing in a decent pair of slippers.
Half are settled, half are still acting like teenagers. They should call it your tweenties, amiright?
Point taken
And you'll find there's a thin line between envy and resentment.
To the younger generation, Facebook might seem like a lame, old person social network, while they're on the hot new thing... and we wouldn't even know.
Besides, we wouldn't even want to use that new thing because we'd think it's just for kids, and so the divide widens...
Your lack of 'with it'-ness has left you highly suspicious of those who do know what's up.
It seems a major part of mid 20s life in Ireland is having your social group dispersed to distant pastures.
Seriously, how much do bills suck? Not a fan.
You hated those Sunday walks you were forced to do as a child, but now you actively seek them out with your friends.
"We've become the very thing we hated most."
These silvery surprises are an instant reminder of your mortality.
Oh God, you're losing everything you hold dear, while trying to act cool about it.
You start to envision follicle nightmare scenarios...
It dawns on you that you've officially been left to make all your major life decisions by yourself.
You get nostalgic for those by-gone days, where your life was so structured by others that you had to ask permission to even use the bathroom.
No one does. Even your parents who once seemed all-knowing, they haven't a notion. In fact, it's slightly terrifying that you now know more about the modern world.
In the end, you just have to say 'fuck it', and wing it through your 20s.
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