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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
Like any city, Dublin has got its quirks.
If you're making the move to Dublin sometime soon, or you've just arrived, you might find yourself a bit discombobulated by it all. Feel free to take a moment to Google the word 'discombobulated'.
Now, here are a few important tidbits you should know if you're going to live in this city.
Much like God, Dublin Bus moves in mysterious ways. A bus's schedule, as it appears on the screen, may or may not be adhered to at any given time. But who are we to question it?
In the end, we're still gonna thank the driver anyway
And if you're travelling by car or bike, you have our sympathy.
In your past experiences seeking accommodation, have you ever found yourself genuinely offered a mattress on a floor in a one-room apartment, which you'd be sharing with three other people? We have. Oh what wonders await you...
Look, if you're really looking for cheap accommodation, apparently the cheapest county in the country for it is Longford. The next cheapest is Leitrim.
Yeah, we'd stick with Dublin too.
You may be thinking about living near the Luas for ease of transport to work, so you should know that you'll get the best price by Red Line. The average monthly rent by the Green Line is €1,444, while the average by the Red Line is €1,271.
That's not a joke or anything, it's just a good fact to know. We can serious too, dammit!
Honestly.
Legend has it this was once the term used for eating some time between breakfast and lunch. Now it is simply the name given to that mealtime which is reserved for the elite, those who have transcended that most common of meals, lunch.
Waking up the morning after like:
You'll need to acquaint yourself with the subtleties of Dublinese if you're gonna live here. Thankfully, there's a helpful video for that.
They're the same fucking street. Hasn't anyone else noticed this?!
It's funny, most Irish people don't even realise they're a hick until they move to Big Shmoke.
Pic: wordbird.ie
Another pureful helpful tidbit. If it all gets a bit too hectic, there's plenty of easy-to-reach places in the mountains and by sea just outside the city where you can relax.
... Which you will only give a shit about if it's narrated by Colin Farrell.
Pic: Reddit/askthepoolboy
And man, that's the best day of the year.
There's always that moment of nervous tension when you first enter the car, where you don't know if there'll be chats or if you'll be spending a half hour journey home in awkward silence.
Test the water by posing the question, "Busy tonight?" and nine times out of ten you'll have a craic dealer on your hands.
While sometimes they're nigh impossible to understand (see 'Dubliners have their own version of English'), invariably they'll manage to squeeze their entire life story into the length of a cab journey.
"Let me just get your change very slowly while you consider letting me keep it".
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