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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
Let's not pussyfoot around the situation here; I don't like Christmas. There is just way too much faff.
But I absolutely ADORE Halloween. I think it is the best holiday, but I understand that some may not take too kindly to me vehemently declaring that Christmas is a load of shite and Halloween reigns supreme, so let me try and convince you....
It is the only day in the whole year that you can dress in full costume and no one even bats an eyelid. Yeah, at Christmas you can dress up but you are serverly limited; unless you are Santa or an elf, no one really wants to know.
Can I dress up as like a zombie on Christmas? Well, yeah I can but my Mam would probably not be too impressed.
The glory days of trick'or'treating gave us bags of sweets for FREE! While I may be a little past the age where it is acceptable to go ask strangers for sweets (unfortunately), I did get many, many profitable years out of it, dressed as a witch, wearing a big bag with holes cut into it. Minimal effort = maximun profit.
Shut up, yes they are. Yeah a Christmas tree is pretty, and twinkly lights are lovely, but there is a very short time frame when it is acceptable for you to hang a skeleton up outside your front door and people just think you are a good sport.
Do that in June, and see where it gets you.
Yes, Christmas films are unreal, I cannot deny. But Halloween films are in a league of their own. I watch Hocus Pocus at least a few times a year, but there is something about watching it around Halloween that just makes it so much better. And lets not stop there, we have got; Halloweentown, Halloweentown Two, Casper, The Addams Family, The Corpse Bride, Beetlejuice.... the list could go on.
Thriller is an actual musical marvel. I don't see Mariah's All I Want For Christmas in quite the same way as I do some of MJ's finest work. Some of my other favourites include Monster Mash and I Put A Spell On You. C'mon, you cannot deny these are some quality tunes!
As much as I consider Monster Mash to be my personal theme song, I guarantee you that I wouldn't like it if I had to listen to it every time I walked into a shop for two months leading up to Halloween. There is no fuss and much less hype, which is exactly what Christmas needs to go up in my estimations.
I have never carved a pumpkin successfully. Never once did it look like it is supposed to in the pictures, but that doesn't mean I didn't have an absolute ball doing it. I used to have to fight my mother on how long I was allowed to leave it in the window after Halloween? Apparently "till next Halloween" never really suited her.
Right I'm not talking about unsociable youths that set off bangers every five minutes, I'm talking about actual fireworks shows, paired with a roaring bonfire. There is nothing else like it!
Personally, I think that this is a shame. I'd love to be gifting my mates pumpkins every year, but not giving gifts does help your wallet out. You could save yourself a lot of money if you embraced Halloween as your big family celebration and let Christmas fall to the wayside. Where it belongs....
Getting up at 6am to baste a turkey? No thank you. Having to see your distant family members who you only see at Christmas is not a requirement for Halloween. Nor is wrapping 20 presents, or stringing up countless fairy lights. Halloween is chill af.
So people of the nation; rise up and embrace the true favourite holiday!
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