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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
Ah, the humble chicken fillet roll, Ireland's favourite snack.
Continuously voted in as Irish emigrant's most missed part of The Emerald Isle, they really hold a place in our hearts like no other.
Both a lunch and a dinner, chicken fillet rolls are the pinnacle of modern Irish society. And, of course, what are they without their toppings? Well not much at all.
We've decided to rank the minging from the wondrous, the socially acceptable to the plain weird and the simple to the outrageous in a handy list just below.
Essential reading if you believe you're a chicken fillet connoisseur.
There's a reason your local deli doesn't have ketchup on tap for such things. It's messy, it lacks originality and most importantly, it does nothing for the subtle flavours of the humble chicken fillet.
Save it for fecking McDonald's.
You should be hanged and quartered for even considering.
Not okay in any way, shape or form.
What?
Gherkins are to chicken fillet rolls, as chalk is to cheese.
They belong on beef burgers, but nowhere near poultry.
Always ordered with the best of intentions, but never going to be as good as you want them to be. Far limper than its leafy counterpart Iceberg.
You are a social pariah.
We can understand how you want to recreate the beauty found inside of a ham and coleslaw roll, but this simply doesn't work with breaded chicken.
Not as sinful as curry, but certainly not socially acceptable.
A gallant effort, but wrong.
Also, why peppers when you can get jalapeños?
Basic.
Tasty and delicious at times, but far too sticky and unpredictable for your roll.
If you're going to go down the sweet chilli route, pour a bowl, get yourself some Doritos and make a day of it.
You definitely want people to know how sassy and cultured you are, getting your jalapeños in like it ain't no thang.
Only acceptable when you've completely ruined your life the night before and carb-on-carb action is the only cure.
You do completely deserve it when that time comes around, but for your own sake, eat it in the safety of your own home.
Only in winter, and it better be heated.
A for effort, but D minus in forward planning... Now you're going to do things that don't involve mates for the next couple of hours because no one will be able to stand your stench.
An absolutely royal topping to add to your fillet-y goodness, but only at Christmas time.
Just plain weird during the rest of the year.
Fair enough, but be wary that you'll have to eat this in the next two seconds for fear of utter sogginess.
Now we're talking, you glam bitch.
A winning formula that has stood the test of time. Bog standard as it may seem, the lettuce/mayo combo allows for the full, rich taste of the chicken fillet and fresh crispy roll to shine through.
An arduous choice, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
The most delicious substance known to man, taco sauce has quickly become widely available in every deli across Ireland out of sheer demand for the stuff.
Light, yet tangy, soft yet flavoursome, taco sauce has it all and more, and marries beautifully with our nation's favourite sandwich.
For those of you who haven't tried it, I implore you to do so. Your first time is only akin to the feeling people had when they first saw coloured films. Do yourself a favour and go.
Now!
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