QUIZ: Are You A Snake?

Hi there, reader.

As today is St Patrick's Day, we have a few questions we'd like to ask you in order to ascertain whether or not you are a snake.

While there are no 'right' or 'wrong' answers here, per se, we will be documenting all responses and reporting incidents of snakehood to our patron saint. 

He will then decide on the appropriate next steps, which may or may not result in you being driven ruthlessly from these shores. Nonetheless, please answer the quiz openly and honestly.

Note: If you are a Parselmouth, please visit this version of the article.