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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
So, yet again, you've been rubbish this year and completely forgotten/not cared enough about/completely disregarded the fact that Halloween is upon us.
But now you've come back around (they always come back around) and realise that you don't want to be a 'nudist on strike' again this year for the third time in a row.
But don't worry, we've got you sloths covered.
Simple AND effective. All you need is a hairband the same colour as your hair, and a piece of foldable green card (or a red card if you're in a pisser). This one works for boys, girls, dogs, cats and everything in between. Sorted.
Finally a costume where we can be sexy AND dead! And, it takes absolutely no effort.
Think of it as a sexy upgrade from the days of your youth where you donned a bed sheet with eyeholes cut out.
Everyone's favourite interchangeable phrase.
Disclaimer: You're going to be every gin drinker's best mate for the night.
A mixed drink of all of your discarded costumes throughout the years. Absolute genius.
Just a dark (preferably grey or black) outfit, and a colour card of various shades of grey throughout to black. Which are usually free from most DIY shops. Solid.
A classic, internationally recognised (if a bit cliched) costume that you won't have to explain all night.
This costume is so easily identifiable that you can make it as slutty, sexy, scary or intricate as you like. The world is your wally, my friend.
A real crowd pleaser.
What you need: White face paint, a toilet lid and a shriek that would take paint off the walls.
You just need face paint and a steady(ish) hand. Art is subjective after all.
Looking bloody deadly when half an hour of work is put into it. AND you get to wear your own clothes. Grand.
You need: A pink long sleeve top, brown hair and a hand.
All you need here is are patterned clothes (headdress optional), a pretty intense unibrow and an unrivalled pout.
Would also look equally gas on boys. And if it's good enough for Queen Bey...
Literally just get a black marker and write 'BOOK' across your face. It really doesn't get much easier.
Yes, that's right, this is your chance to have your Mean Girl's 'I'm a mouse, duh' moment.
Don a selection of browns and grab yourself some sort of animal ears and you're away.
Very easy, takes about 40 minutes to prepare in total.
Dress in all black and get several pairs of stuffed tights, or alternatively, bin bags (an Irish family favourite), twist them into long cylindrical 'legs', secure with duct tape and then stick them either onto your back, or onto a black backpack if you want the option of removal.
Warning: You will be everyone's worst nightmare.
As easy as getting your hands on a packet of purple balloons and sticking them all over you. A piece of green felt around your neck really sets this whole look off.
You will be commended at first, and then avoided all night.
