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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
Yes, the dreamy haze that were your college years are now over.
Contrary to popular belief (of teenage dopes) you haven’t hit your twilight years just yet. The world is your oyster now; you own this city.
Here are 22 reasons why.
Gone are the days where you’re frantically finding said club’s Facebook event to scrawl your name on the cheaplist, and even longer gone is the temptation to go to Dicey’s for €2 pints.
You’ve spread your wings and are so ready to fly into the beautiful world of The Big Dogs.
A few years ago, €20 for a ticket seemed obscene; these days, it seems a triviality.
Anyone who has attempted to flat-hunt in Dublin knows that this term is worth its weight in gold. Landlord heroin.
And freshers look like LOST CHILDREN. If you even realise it's happening, that is.
No more BYOBs for you, you big sophisticated dream.
Or have given-up entirely* (since smoking is so college).
* Does not include nights out, obviously
However brilliant those times may have been, that hectic world is behind you my friend. Remember it, cherish it, but lay it to rest.
Unless you're heading to The Black Door.
To either roam around in with your prospective significant other, or to decorate the dream flat we referred to in reason #3 above, Ikea is well and truly the dream.
For as you grow slightly older, you realise that that’s a fucking dreadful idea in the first place.
A tough adjustment to begin with, but a necessary one. Friday is the new Thursday.
Our collective conscience (and slowing metabolism) is telling us that maybe a Chopped would be better than a Micky D’s.
Post-college life gives you both a shrewd perspective on a night out, and the sense to determine that sometimes it’s best to call it a night after the club.
Another necessary evil, however also for the better. Men always always go up at least 4 looks points in a suit, and office wear for women is really just glorified porn.
Just get me there with the smallest amount of people involved as possible. I don’t care about the cost.
The resistance you spent your teenage years honing has swiftly flown the nest and you absolutely don’t know why.
A cocktail with dinner is touch-and-fucking-go.
Because it’s economical, sound and just the right thing to do. Look at you being all sensible.
Old enough to have responsibilities, young enough to party.
Because eggs orders are far more detailed than drinks orders. Fact.
Or bed commitments... they'll never know.
Hailing from the previous generation of young marriages, us Irish are all too conscious of the looming journey up the aisle.
If you've found them, great. If not, keep looking, they're out there. Or don't. Nobody cares, really.
Who has two thumbs and isn't going to have vomit on their doorstep in the morning? This guy.
With a belly full of meat too. Dreamy.
Sure, how could you? Ireland's pretty bloody fantastic.
READ NEXT: 23 Things You 100% Did In College (Whether You Want To Admit It Or Not)
