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20th December 2016
12:10am GMT
We all remember student life. We all remember that belt-tightening.
And we all remember vowing that, once we start earning cash, we would never go back.
That's why those of us with a fresh few bob in our pockets will throw our cash at anyone who'll take it... and we mean anyone.
Or 'salad spinner' to those who want to make it sound even more ridiculous.
Normal forks are just so intense and aggressive.
Usually costing upwards of €200, and preferably of the equestrian and/or golf variety.
Sigh. It's finally time.
But not to lie on like hippies, oh no.
As ornaments.
Because apparently wine with a price higher than €9 has a different taste. Who knew.
I mean. Why even HAVE books?!
To be kept in the fridge door for all eternity.
Rich people have big opinions on water.
No more crumpling up the plastic pocket inside for you, Richie Rich.
EVERYWHERE.
Like incense, but for grown-ups.
Put that lazy dog of yours to work.
How else could they possibly express themselves.
Well are you going to eat un-tenderised meat like animals?!
Literally just water in a can.
For the curtains just don't fulfil your dark, dark needs.
Hangovers get harder when you can afford to drink everything – and these help.
Nicer than your own digs, with the potential for a higher standard of hygiene and a stronger political background.
