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8th December 2017
10:38am GMT
The holiday season is well and truly upon us, and the lights, trees, and pints are all we've been thinking about.
What a time to be alive!
Whether you're King of the Scrooges, or could potentially be mistaken for one of Santa's elves, you will certainly understand and appreciate (even if you don't want to) the wondrous joy that Silly Season bestows upon us.
Read it and weep, Grinches.
The elixir of life, and the realisation that booze is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Your body is a temple. And food? Your insulation.
A sure fire way to spread some joy, the quickest and easiest form of therapy (once it's online shopping and you avoid the heathens) and a valuable way to spend your time and money.
Giving gifts is totally infectious and is as good, if not better, than receiving.
I know we said giving was better, but who are we kidding?
Yes, we have the promise of a White Christmas year in year out, but this year may actually have some backbone to it.
Also snow means that the country will once again shut down, so you'll have to either work from home, or not work at all! Yay, duvet forts.
Shirt? Check. Jumper? Check. Long Johns? Check. Ski Gear? Check.
Ah, every jilted girlfriend, ex-mate, late peaker's dream. Go on with your bad self and gloat about how fabulous you're doing, you deserve it.
Because the car air fresheners just don't cut it this time of year.
Also having a Christmas tree in your house makes your pets go mental, which is always fun.
Sleep and food and bed and sweets and sleep and presents and pints.
Because who doesn't want to get sloshed in front of their colleagues with the possibility of potentially shifting them?
Candy canes, gingerbread men, and that Christmas cake your mum has had ready since June.
Tis the season to get cuddly.
A chance to embrace your inner Bambi and impress all around you with your skills, or have a proper laugh while falling on your arse in public.
Because Silly Season isn't Silly Season without smooching someone you shouldn't have.
A chance to wear your good coat, be slightly drugged by incense, keep an eye out for the talent of the area, hear some cracked kids bang out Oh Holy Night and also meet with your mum's friends who think you're the business.
All in less than an hour. Unreal!
Because Kevin McAllister is your boy blue, and you took a sacred oath declaring that you must watch his mischievous actions again and again every December.
Whether you're old, young, broke, rich, excitable or indifferent - Christmas is Christmas and you can't help but feel whopper inside when you see the city centre lights or catch the scent of mulled wine.
Also this time of year gives you the chance to feel like a child again, which is a welcome change from trying to constantly up your adult game.
It is called the most wonderful time of the year for a reason.
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