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10th September 2017
02:24pm BST
I think it's safe to say that every year when some random newspaper/magazine comes out with a poll stating which country boasts the sexiest of all accents, we all get a little flummoxed. Ireland always, always ranks in the top three spots and we're left wondering "how", "why" and "in what world", in that order.
It's not that we don't love the Irish brogue – it's just that sometimes people try to mix American words with Cavan accents and the whole argument falls flat.
Here are 15 examples of just that.
An American turn-of-phrase which means, when used as an adjective to describe someone, that they are attractive and/or aesthetically pleasing.
When spoken in the Irish brogue, it sounds... well, not hot in the least.
Turns out our begrudging attitude comes across in certain things we say, who knew. Prime example being the word cute.
It can rarely be said in the Irish manner of speaking without coming across patronising or weird.
Also with our impossibility of pronouncing the letter 't' correctly, it can sound like 'cyushe', as in, rhymes with 'douche'.
A real crowd pleaser.
Listen to a middle aged Mayo man say the word 'paparazzi' and you will not be disappointed.
First of all, no one's going to believe you that an actual tornado is about to hit.
Secondly, it sounds too similar to potato that you're just going to get people's hopes up.
Tarnished by the reign that Juicy Couture had over females during The Boom Years, couture is another word that our delicate Irish mouths just can't hack.
And by can't hack, I mean butcher.
The word feared by every hairdresser in the country during 2014, and an absolute car crash when said with Irish pronounciation. Not least because we can't hear or pronounce it as anything other than a place name.
''BALLY-AJJJJJ''
Unfortunately, Mother Monster's stage name does not come naturally to us Celts.
And when we try to force the two... this is what happens.
The dessert of every Irish kid who ever went to Wexford on holidays, and the least sexy an Italian word is ever going to sound.
Actually, you can scrap the Italian language altogether, we have neither the confidence nor sexual prowess to pull it off.
Whatever, or its abbreviations 'whatevs' and the ever-humiliating 'evs' (Jesus wept) is American slang meaning "whatever you say" and/or "I don't care what you say".
And, yes, you've guessed it, it sounds shite coming from anyone born in The Emerald Isle.
We simply can't say this without sounding like we're giving out. Although, to be fair, who can?
Remember what we said about the Italian language?
Just leave it alone. Trust us.
We, both the country mice and the city mice of us, have the tendency to elongate the O's in sentences, and in turn, annihilate them.
Sudoku is unfortunately no different.
No.
Once you get over the original shock that it's pronounced 'keen-wha' as opposed to 'quinn-oh-ah', you're too exhausted to even attempt round two.
And when you do, it's laughable.
Hard to avoid these days considering there are TWO Gino's on Grafton street alone, not to mention the dozens of ice cream joints in the surrounding area, but this word takes the bloody biscuit when it comes to vocabulary that shouldn't come out of Irish people's lips.
Sure isn't it only ice cream, you'd only be destroyed if you whipped out 'Gelato' in front of your mates.
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